“I have had enough, Lord.” The words of the prophet Elijah, from 1 Kings 19 could easily have been written by me. Overcome by discouragement, exhaustion, and grief, Elijah’s prayer communicated his desire for the Lord to relieve him from the pressures of his life. Weary from battle, from ministering to a stubborn people, and from being a lonely voice for God’s truth, his discouragement came from a place that desired for God’s standard.
The response to that prayer? God’s provision and a journey to a place where he would be hidden in a cave.
Like the prophet Elijah, I feel like I am in a season where God has hidden me in a cave. Elijah wasn’t hiding, but he was hidden. He was hidden for his own protection, and for a season. He was hidden so that God could prepare him, give him rest, and strengthen him so that later he could use him to fulfill his calling.
This wasn’t the first time that God hid Elijah. Earlier, in 1 Kings 17, Elijah was hidden by a river, and God promised to send ravens to feed Elijah. Ravens. That made no sense. Elijah had never experienced or seen that before. Others would not have predicted that God would work in that way. Yet, that is exactly what God did.
Like Elijah, in this season, God has been sending ravens to nourish and feed me. As I am in my cave, or my river, or whatever you want to call working from my bedroom during the coronavirus, I feel so different than the life I have lived for the last 7 years…. The last 17 years…. Normally I am with the public every day. Now I am with myself every day. My children are at school, my husband is at work. Even church is no longer a space to be fed in this season. It makes no sense. I have never experienced or seen God work in this way before. My mentors and friends would not have predicted that God would work in this way. Yet it is exactly what God is doing.
So I wait for the ravens.
I don’t recognize them when they come. But after they have gone, I feel fed, nurtured, refreshed, pastored.
The ravens come in the form of professors, counselors, spiritual directors, books, articles, assignments. I thought that starting my masters degree during the pandemic would help me to feel like I am not wasting the time. It certainly does that, but it is doing something else. It is bringing to me the nourishment, the soul care that I need. That I have needed for quite some time. I am slowly learning that our hearts become restored and healed in our seasons of hiddenness.
Last week during a moment of worship, God showed me a picture of a sonogram. It was clearly a sonogram, much like the ones I got when I was pregnant with each of my children, and the Lord used that picture to reveal to my heart that I am in fact expecting. Just because what He is doing is hidden, doesn’t mean He isn’t working together a miracle. Preparing internally for what will eventually be seen externally. Just like when you are expecting a child, preparations need to be made. The Lord helped me to understand that I need to prepare like I would if I was expecting a child. When you are expecting a child, you get the room ready, you prepare your heart, you purchase the tools you will need to handle the responsibility that God gives you. It’s a temporary season of growth and pain that will eventually give birth to new life.
So I prepare. I expect. I receive. And I wait.
The way that Elijah comes out of the cave is different than what you might imagine. The Lord did tell Elijah to expect Him, that He was getting ready to pass by. But He didn’t come in the obvious. He came in the stillness.
A great and powerful wind, but the Lord was not in the wind.
After the wind, an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.
After the fire, came a gentle whisper. It was in this whisper that the Lord spoke, giving Elijah direction, pulling him out of his season of hiddenness.
As I wait for the Lord to pull me out of this season, I recognize that it’s in the stillness that I will hear His voice.
Love this. I relate to it so much. Thank you for your leadership and transparency.
Praying for you sweet friend, thank you for your kind words!
Thank you for sharing, it gives insight to the season I feel I’m in also.
Praying the Lord makes Himself known in a powerful way!
I relate to this, too. Thank you.
Praying for you, friend.
This was a RAVEN for me. I thought I was crazy, I thought I was feeling weird. No one could explain to me what was happening!!
Hello! Thank you so much for this short, sweet, but yet very powerful message! I didn’t understand when I heard GOD tell me that HE’S send the enemy away from me for a season back in September of 2023! While I knew it was GOD it still didn’t make sense to me so before I could ask HIM to confirm that this is HIM, HE had already answered with Matthew 4:11 but I still needed more confirmation because I’ve not heard any messages about this. I’m well aware of the scripture. So HE then gave me Ecclesiastes 3:1 and that settled it with peace like a river in my heart, spirit, and mind! Thank YOU JESUS! HE went in to explain it’s a season of rest Sabbath from the chaos, turmoil, and calamity that HE allowed in every area of my life since April of 2017. Through it all HE has indeed been faithful and a very very very present and active help the whole time even when it didn’t feel like it look like it or sound like it! I can look back and see HE was otherwise I would’ve made it through! But HE also said this season is time to not only rest but draw even closer to HIM, learn of CHRIST so I can really know and understand myself in CHRIST. To know my worth, value, and what I bring to the table in life. It’s to learn my talents, gifts, and purpose for CHRIST. So it’s not to just lay around although HE allowed it for a few months but still cultivating my relationship and intimacy by reading sometime out loud and sometimes silent. Sometime studying the word. All the time fasting and praying HIS word back to HIM! I love HIM soooooo much! Thank you again because I needed your article like the missing puzzle piece in this season of my life! May GOD richly and dynamically bless you!
Sorry forgot to add… THE LORD had given me this Elijah in a cave story a few times during this season of wilderness and reminded me if it last year so thanks for confirming.
Thank you. I’m in this season now. It is so foreign to me. But I’m trusting God.
Thank you for writing this so well. You articulated exactly how God has been leading me. After facing so many disappointments I have felt called to a season of hiddenness to restore my soul. I’m starting a new year, hidden in the day to day and the assignments God has placed in front of me.
The Lord has stripped me (in one way or another) of every ministry I was apart of. I am still fellowshipping with the body and serve, but like you said, there’s no other way to explain it except that I feel hidden… not in a bad way though!
In the past this would have been sooo difficult for me, but that’s because I had the wrong motives in ministry. Now, I realize my top ministry has to be unto the Lord alone…. then people second… with the goal of just pointing them to Jesus, not ourselves.
Thank you for this article.
Thank you for sharing this; I related so much to what I read! I finally see that I’ve been in this season for the past year, where my own experiences with discouragement, exhaustion, and grief broke me. I didn’t understand it, I even thought that I was to blame, and I’ve allowed the enemy to heap on subtle condemnation.
I realize now that God’s been drawing me away from everything and everyone else to a quietness with Him. I’d kept myself so busy, that I no longer heard His voice as clearly–and it’s been killing me spiritually, emotionally, and even physically…but especially spiritually.
I was resisting where He was pulling me to bc I didn’t understand. The more I tried to do what I thought He wanted from me, the harder I tried to just push myself through, the more I struggled. I’ve actually been a little mad at God! haha.
Please pray for me? I really need God’s help. I don’t know exactly what He’s working on in me, but I know that He is working, and I don’t want to get in His way!
I LOVE this message! I’m in a season of hiding and wondering what my life will be like when I come out of the cave. Great message and I also used this time for school❤️